Some

- Obama finally cracks the seal on a can of whoop ass, but doesn’t quite remove the lid.  

- Gay dating site rejected for a Super Bowl ad by CBS when the potential advertisers couldn’t name the two teams who were playing.

- Turkey sandwich with white truffle oil mayonnaise and sundried-tomato pesto averts workplace homicide two days in a row.

- Area bar happy hour too much like Star Wars cantina for an ordinary Friday night.