Britney Spears Visited by Child Services!

Radar On Line is reporting “exclusively” a full day after the Sun British tabloid reported “exclusively” that Britney Spears is being visited by child services to investigate possible abuse of her sons Sweet Pea and Tater Tot.  No, it’s Sean Puffy Preston and Jayden K-Fed James.  Or, whatever their names are.

Fernando Flores, the same bodyguard who alleged Britney sexually harassed him (she made him look at her naked!), has made these latest shocking charges.  He claims that back in March or April, Britney borrowed his belt to beat the boys and then made them eat sushi against their will or somethin’ like that y’all. 

While we can certainly imagine her dropping them on their heads at the drop of a hat, we have a hard time believen’ she’s been whoopin’ her youngin’s.  Although, some other things she could have subjected them to could be considered abuse and the likelihood of these situations could actually be believable...

Britney Spears' More Likely 

 Forms of Child Abuse:

Making kids test her Frappuccino to make sure it’s cool enough to drink   12%

Making kids check between her toes for any new signs 

of ringworm   17%
 

Making kids crumble Cheetos over her morning grits   23%
 

Making kids comb her weave and pick out nits   24%
 

Making kids watch video of her 2007 MTV VMA awards performance with the “Leave Britney Alone” guy edited in over and over again on a continuous loop   34%