Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Spirit Osama Glad Schwarzenegger Turned Out to be Such a Dick

Somewhere in Hell – The spirit of deceased terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden admitted today that he was feeling a bit relieved that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s being such a dick had temporarily distracted the media from demeaning his evil legacy with their propaganda.

The al Qaeda leader psychopath offered, “The coverage in the U.S. media of all of the things they supposedly found in my compound was starting to get out of hand. Outlandish really.  I'm sure you were days away from supposedly finding Jimmy Hoffa there.  When the Schwarzeneggers separated last week, they politely asked for their privacy and the story died down pretty quickly and then all of a sudden the news was ALL about my alleged porn stash.  Then Jennifer Aniston’s dog died and I had hope that the pooch perishing would take the spotlight off of me again.  And it did – for about an hour.  What is it with that girl?  I would not make her one of my wives.  She would need to run around in the shower to get wet.  Anyway, I was beginning to lose serious street cred down here with Hilter, Pol Pot, Nixon, all of the usual suspects.  Thank Allah that Arnold Schwarzenegger person turned out to be such a complete dick by fathering a child outside of marriage as he doesn't believe in polygamy, because now the media can speak of nothing else and I can go back to being perceived as the total bad-ass I am down here.  And by the way, I didn’t have ‘pornography’ in the traditional sense as you believe.  I did have an Internet connection in the compound and pornography for me would be to observe the shameless excesses of you American infidels.  Fortunately, I cleared out www.peopleofwalmart from my internet browser’s history before the raid.”

1 comments so far :

Andy Warhol in Hell said...

Everything I said is coming true. Moo hoo ha ha

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