Americans who absolutely thought that not a single, solitary thing that was good was going to happen this year were stunned today when the TLC network announced it would be canceling the reality show Kate Plus 8.
The show, which followed the perils of marrying a complete douche and also in vitro fertilization, has steadily lost viewers since the divorce of Kate and husband Jon, but not because a crazed gunman held the entire Discovery Network hostage due to his belief that their substandard programming was signalizing the decline of polite civilization.
A spokesperson for the network told Unsolicited Drivel, “The kids were getting to that ‘in between’ age where they were not going to be cute for much longer. It’s possible that dependant upon the amount of vacant stares at our production meetings that we might bring the show back once they are past the tween years and have the potential for an intervention and/or ending up in rehab. However, the primary reason we canceled the show now is because Kate has made her intentions to start dating again very clear to the media. But the network executives fear her chances of matching the level of nut-crushing shrew heights she reached with Jon on camera again are slim to none as plastic surgeries and hair extensions aside, she hasn’t been able to even get a single dude who's not on the payroll to even look at her sideways. If she decides to switch teams and date chicks though, our door will be wide open again. And if she dates a trannie, we'll give her her own network."
2 comments so far :
Even dropping a nuke on the set would have been an acceptable way to get that f***in thing off the air. Sure millions of lives would have been lost, but hey, it would have been worth it.
Death Penalty for motherhood!
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