Downton Abbey Makes Me Crabby

Yeah, whatevha. Choke on your Earl Grey.

Jolly Ole’ England -  As seen on PBS via: The U.S.of A. -  I have been cyberly disemboweled over the last two days for expressing my distaste for “Downton Abbey.”  I may have said something to the effect “unless those aristocrats start stabbing each other in the thighs under their 25-foot long dining table with an oyster fork, I am not interested...” If you want a faux love affair with Britain, see: Evelyn Waugh’s “Brideshead Revisited,”-  the original PBS version with Jeremy Irons.  Anyone who saw that would not be picking on my sorry ass right now.  Really.

Last time I checked, we wanted to be independent from the British, and just because Elizabeth McGovern, who is one of our own (best actors) and is sorely missed, chose to become an expatriate is NOT a reason to give up and then magically turn on and tune out in this economy while watching a bunch of people who respond to bells.  Especially if there is no opportunity to sing in public and make a fool of one’s self.   Except in certain cities and I can probably give you a list.

Spoiler non-alert: Dame Maggie Smith  has already asked to be released from her contract because she is bored as fuck-all.  In my world, I have been criticized as being in the Tea Party (via the Huffington Post) because I don’t like it when I am half-British and would be considered an “anchor baby” had my dad not gone through a shit storm to naturalize.

I thought this country was about individuality?  So to the very successful expatriates who haven’t stuck it out, I curse you for making money on making fun of it. (You know who you are…David Sedaris.)

P.S. I have a cup from Queen Elizabeth's coronation.  Know how much you viewers are willing to pay for it on eBay?  SEVEN, count'em SEVEN whole bucks. Not pounds.  Blimey!  I'm talking U.S. dollars.