Monday, January 7, 2013

Person Who Behaved Like a Duplicitous Douche Back in College Can’t Stop Posting "Think Positively" Pictures on Facebook

Nobody told me about Karma....whaaaaaaah!
Columbia, SC – A person who behaved like a complete duplicitous douche all throughout her college experience and still likely does so to this day cannot restrain herself from currently posting messages to promote “the power of positive thinking” on the increasingly banal social network site Facebook.

A former roommate of the serial picture poster told Unsolicited Drivel, “I should never have accepted her Facebook friend request in the first place but I did to be polite because my cool friends had already made the exception for her. I didn’t hide her to see if she was still the drama queen she always was, and I’m happy to report she is. She’ll complain one day she’s starving to death because of a thyroid condition, I offer helpful advice with a great weight gain smoothie recipe and she doesn’t even acknowledge it. Maybe she’s still smarting from the time I let a sheriff lead her away in handcuffs at 7AM after trying to arrest her for months for bouncing checks all over town?  But hey, I’m still smarting from the $300 she still owes me for the phone bill in 1986. Can you imagine the interest on that money even If I charged her a low rate? So after months of no Facebook presence at all, she’s now posting these ‘positive’ photos daily, which tells me, she’s really screwed up again. Cheated on someone, is wanted by the police, found Jesus and left him all within the course of one hour, became straight and gay in the same day, or whatever. I still can’t hide her from my feed though. I mean we are talking about a person who knowingly slept with a dog turd her bed, couldn’t return a VHS to the video store for 2 months even though it was next door and I wouldn’t even put it past her to serve those globs of toothpaste left over in the sink as after dinner mints when she finished serving Spaghetti-O’s she heated still in the can on the stove. And this was the 80s when Hipsters weren’t even invented yet.”

0 comments so far :

Post a Comment

opinions powered by