London Unveils Gay Cyclops 2012 Olympic Mascots

Jolly ‘ole England – The London Olympic Organizing Committee confirmed their desire to be the butt of jokes worldwide on Wednesday with the release of their 2012 mascots – “Wenlock” and the Paralympics mascot, “Mandeville.”

Carefully crafted from recycled tins of Earl Grey and Prince Albert in a Can, the mutant-like creatures are from a children’s story called “Out of a Rainbow,” original title “Outta Me Head.”  Infected by “rainbow beams,” not to be confused with any type of virus, the lovingly handmade creature/mascots magically came to life to frighten children.

One observer commented, “at first they were saying that the mascots might remind people of aliens from Dr. No., but it seems more like Dr. No + Teletubbies = Dr. WTF?  They already have their own Facebook page and that is leaving the social network’s site programmers scrambling to add that ‘dislike’ button.  I also hear the London Olympic organizers are seriously considering having David Lynch direct the opening ceremonies.”