Will Lindsay Lohan’s Next Project Take 9 Months?

Hollyweird – Recently sprung jailbird Lindsay Lohan (or Lohab to her friends) is rumored to be considering having her very own crack baby to ward off her loneliness and tendency to sideswipe other mother’s strollers. She allegedly hinted to her remaining friends that motherhood might be the only way to clean up her act and get her life back on track.  After all, it certainly seemed to put a stop to Nicole Richie driving the wrong way on the expressway high on hillbilly heroin (as far as we know).

Since Dr. Drew was unavailable, we asked another Hollywood therapist, Dr. Dick Meddleson, who felt comfortable commenting on a person he's never met before to give us an opinion on Lohan’s latest plans.  He told us, “It’s hard to believe that someone who cannot even take care of herself would seriously consider having a child.  My guess would be it’s just a publicity stunt, what with Paris Hilton getting arrested left and right and Kim Kardashian crying crocodile tears over her own undressing for dollars. If Lindsay does decide to give birth, child endangerment would put her back on the newsstands for sure.  It certainly worked for Britney Spears.  And if Lindsay is lucky enough to give birth to a mutant like Bat Boy, she’d never even have to make another film to stay in the tabloids for years to come and with her past drug use, genetic mutation is certainly a possibility.”