In a seemingly unbelievable legal precedent this week, a cookie filed a sexual assault suit against an area child. The cookie, who wishes to have his identity protected, filed suit in circuit court Monday against little Lisa Grippman. He stated, “I was at the Mall of America, hanging with Santa and suddenly she budges to the front of the line and lunges at me! The song says, catch me if you can, not grope me if you can. What, does she hope for a future career with the TSA?!? As soon as I saw her reaching toward my frosted crotch, I ran, and ran, and ran. I can usually run away from a little old woman and I can run away from a little old man. Unfortunately, little Lisa was all hopped up on sugar cookies so she easily caught up to me right next to the Sbarro.”
The boy cookie was seeking unspecified damages but sources say he might be willing to settle out of court provided the oversexed Lisa could introduce him to a really hot Cinnabon.
0 comments so far :
Post a Comment