Rabid Bieber Fans Want You to Think A Quesadilla Won Grammy's Best New Artist

There were lots of surprises (snubs) at the Grammy Awards last night, but among the biggest was Justin Bieber losing the Best New Artist award to jazz singer Esperanza Spalding, and Bieber’s fans were not taking the news gracefully, hacking Spalding’s Wikipedia page for revenge.

While Google searches were surging for “Esperanza” soon to be replaced by searches in error for “Esmeralda” likely followed by “Quasimodo,” the little known singer’s name was changed to everything Justinanza Biebling to Quesadilla, with catty remarks like, “Who the H.E. double hockey sticks ever heard of U?” and “Who cares if U can play the bass?  How may times can you sing the word ‘baby’ consecutively without going insane?”

Considering David Letterman has referred to Esperanza Spalding as “the coolest guest ever” on his show, we wondered what’s their problem?

Unsolicited Drivel caught up with one Bieber fan for comment and she told us:

“OMG did you see that freaking hair?  NOBODY, I mean nobody is going to go to the hairdresser to request that.  She can't even whip it like Willow Smith.  This snub of the Bieber really hurt those of us whose fever was totally climbing this weekend because of the release of his movie, ‘Never Say Never’ too.  But I’ll tell you, the bottom line is that Exmayranda, or whatever, is probably just too original for modern tweens to appreciate.  You may say, ‘Well, then, what about Amy Winehouse?  Wasn’t she original for the Grammys?’  And I’d say, yeah, until you accidentally hear a Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings recording and realize that crack-whore Amy stole Sharon’s sound.  Kids today don’t want to get the crap kicked out of us or be trolled via social networking into a early death by suicide for thinking for ourselves, so it’s really best for us to stick with the artists that the corporations running the music business tell us to like to fit in, and nobody fits that completely studio-manufactured image better than Justin Bieber!”