Japan Earthquake Spurns Media to Scare the Living Crap Out of Americans Living Near a Fault

United States - Amid stories of hope and survival in the aftermath of the Japanese earthquake and tsunami tragedy, American media outlets were working overtime this week to scare the living crap out of U.S. citizens with speculation of similar disasters occurring on our shores.

If a slow news week outside of natural disasters (no Charlie Sheen meltdowns) continues, television viewers who are not yet suffering from battle fatigue from the media’s coverage of the worst natural disaster since record keeping began, can be prepared to be scared out of their wits if they are not already.

One anonymous cable TV meteorologist told Unsolicited Drivel, “Expect to see a non-stop procession of geological ‘experts’ to speculate how such a disaster can occur here in the U.S. just like in Japan.  You’ll hear lots of phrases like, ‘it’s not a question of if, but a question of when,’ and ‘as a geologist, I’d have to say it is a certainty.’  They’ll show you colorful maps with high-tech graphics displaying fault lines where you never thought it could be conceivably possible that fault lines could even exist.  Also, as it’s not anxiety inducing enough to viewers for us to speculate when the radiation cloud that has developed as a result of the nuclear reactor explosions in Japan will reach the U.S. shores,  expect to hear reports about how our nuclear plants were built to withstand something like one-third the damage from an earthquake of the magnitude that hit Japan.  And plan to see this type of coverage on networks that aren’t even typically known for fabricating the news.  But rest assured, the sensationalist coverage will slow down just in time for the NCAA final four."