Voters Keen on Sheen, Not Palin

A recent useless poll of independent voters found that despite having no idea what one-dimensional-actor™ Charlie Sheen’s political affiliation is, they would still prefer him given the choice over Sarah Palin were they headed to a presidential primary today.

Two-thirds of the independent voters polled viewed Sheen unfavorably, while two-thirds-and-one-half couldn't stomach the notion Palin returning to political office.   President Obama did much better in a match-up against Sheen than Palin, but only if it were in a hypothetical basketball game.  In baseball, the President fell well below Sheen's approval rating.

When an additional survey was conducted to examine the findings favoring Charlie Sheen over Sarah Palin, the majority of independent voters said that given the choice, the would much prefer to drink tiger blood over caribou blood because it would be “way more fierce and winning.”  However, the same voters were undecided if they could drink whatever blood President Obama has as its species (citizenship) was still in question.