The Taxman Cometh for the Prince Of Darkness

Los Angeles – Well, it seems that the Osbourne family are the latest celebrities that are in big trouble with the IRS due to “bad management,” and now the taxman says it’s time to pay up. The couple reportedly owes nearly $1.7 million themselves, and daughter Kelly has her own debt to the IRS at $34,000. 

While Sharon is frantically Tweeting away about her belief that someone in her employ was taking care of their financial affairs, like all regular tax payers, we have to wonder – where did the money go?

We asked a “pal” close to the family for comment on the Prince of Darkness and the talk show queen’s tax conundrum.  He told us:

“I know it seems like with Ozzy touring regularly with ‘OzzFest’ and Sharon seeming to host every freaking talk or reality show on TV that they would have plenty of cash for the taxman, but there are a lot of incidental expenses that have added up over the years.  After Sharon got sick she no longer had the energy to fling hams into her neighbors' yards when they pissed her off,  so she had a state-of-the art Trebuchet built out of endangered timber from the rain forest that's supposedly really sturdy.  You could probably fling a whole pig with that thing.  She also had to hire staff to operate it full time.  She’s been sticking to a more organic lifestyle since she’s been in remission too, so she’s dying her hair with pressed organic cherry juice.  But in the off season, she has to fly the “red gold” cherries in from Catalonia.  Of course, there’s Kelly’s legal defamation defense fund they have been building up just in case they need it one day after her calling Courtney Love a crackhead publicly one too many times.  That’s been a nice chunk of change.  But the biggest expense is due to Ozzy’s fondness for watching ‘The Glenn Beck Show.’  He thought it was a variety show, like ‘Benny Hill’ but without the all of the blonde girls with big boobs, and decided to shift his heavy metal preference from rock music to gold because of all the unscrupulous advertising on the show.  And he doesn't even remember where he put all the gold, so they can't sell it.  They're in quite a pickle and I’m not sure how they are going to get out of it.  I have one idea I’m going to suggest to Sharon though.  I’m pretty sure they could wipe out the entire $1.7 million IRS tab and then some if Sharon would agree appear in a wrestling match with her ‘The Talk’ co-star Leah Remini on Pay-Per-View.”