Random Thoughts on the Hours, Uh, the Oscars

Best dressed. Too bad she's nuts.

• Seth MacFarlane's  jokes were not particularly funny, but he sure can sing for his supper! But I'd rather see him in "Book of Mormon."

• William Shatner owns America…and he's CANADIAN!

• Sally Field was sufficiently creeped out at Seth looking like Peter Brady in a nun's habit! I don't think she was acting.

• Charlize Theron can channel Ginger Rodgers but Channing Tatum's head looks like a ham with a buzz cut.

• John Travolta's face! Why isn't it trending today?!?

• Did anyone else notice the heroin needle bruises on Kristen Stewart's left arm? Kristen Stewart's a "Smacktress." That explains why she never moves her face.

• No Nominees for Salma Hayek's Botox job?

• Jane Fonda was wearing a wig. I hate that I know that.  She can afford a better one too.

• Who will they leave out this year's  "In Memoriam?"  Andy Griffith, Alex Karras & Richard Dawson you dicks.

• I've got a great idea for an awards show. It's called the "Thank You and Goodnight" awards.

• I'm getting the impression that the French sucked. Suck?

• Pierce Brosnan is now singing through Russell Crowe.

• Anne Hathaway's nips were showing but didn't stick out as far as her clavicle bone.

• The only life of "pie" I wanted to know about is Key Lime shelf-life.

• When Hugh Jackman rushes to assist you, you let him manhandle you Jennifer Lawrence!

• Michelle Obama was up past her bed time.

• Who let Abba in?