Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Singer Amy Winehouse to Launch Clothing Line!

London - Good news for emaciated chicks that want to look like guttersnipes everywhere!  Former promising music sensation, Amy Winehouse, is launching her very own clothing line with British label, Fred Perry.

A spokesperson for the design house offered, “We had at least three major meetings to discuss our business venture and Amy was awake for at least half of one of those.   She gave crucial input…unless that was just her eye make-up running. Hard to say.”

Tentatively titled, “Black and Blue,” the cleverly casual line will include girlish twin-sets to cover any abdominal distention, skimming skirts that will only fit those ladies with the figure of a pencil, Capri pants ripped in strategic places, ballet flats with free fake blood and dog doo to dot on them if the consumer cannot supply their own for that lived in, hobo chic look, and of course, a fur-lined push-up bra for extra added warmth while running around outside in one’s underwear at 4am. Amy is also said to be working on a signature shirt with specially crafted, jagged-edged grommets on the arms to save the wearer the trouble of having to self-cut.  The garments will range in price from $25 to $150 British pounds and will be available for sale on Camden street corners with a complimentary sample bag of rock with every purchase.

Previously published.  We will return live on 7/19.

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