Man Outraged End of World Not Enough to Prevent Foreclosure

Glen Burnie, MD – An area man nearly lost it today when he realized his claim that the end of the world was only days away was not enough to prevent foreclosure on his home.

Kevin O’Sullivan told Unsolicited Drivel, “I believe I was a victim of one of those robo signing foreclosures in error, but up until now, I was unable to prove it as America’s Bank for Americans has been less than helpful and probably just because they don’t want to get caught in their mistake.  Then I noticed that since the weekend, there have been massive deaths of birds, fishes, and this morning I read about crabs dying too.  It could only mean the end of the world is just days away, so I asked the lady at the bank if they could just postpone the foreclosure and let me live out the end of days in my own house.  She told me that the end of the world wasn’t technically supposed to come until 2012, and not because the Mayans predicted it, but because the new Congress will screw up so badly over the next two years, that Tea Party darling Sarah Palin will win the GOP nomination."