Fetus Testimony Transfixes Ohio Lawmakers

Columbus - If Mike Huckabee had been present, he could have reminded Ohio lawmakers yesterday that unborn fetuses can grow up to be voters one day, so you better not kill’em y’all!  Instead, an Ohio pro-life group, Faith2Action, brought in a real fetus to testify for the passage of the “Heartbeat Bill.”

If passed, the “Heartbeat Bill” would be among the most restrictive abortion bills yet, prohibiting termination of a pregnancy as soon as a fetal heartbeat was detected.

Advocates for a woman’s right to choose what she can do with her own body called the Ohio ultrasound testimony a “stunt.”

However, the more conservative Ohio lawmakers disagreed and some of the remarks overheard after the hearing included:

- “More convincing as a human witness than Kato Kaelin.”
- “Even Perry Mason would cave on cross examination of that little fellah.”
- "John Grisham should put something like this in his next novel."

One Ohio lawmaker, who asked not to be named, told Unsolicited Drivel:

“Sure, we could be working on legislation to create jobs with our state’s years-long, outrageously high unemployment rate, but when have you known a conservative lawmaker to pass up an opportunity to legislate lady parts? While the playing of the heartbeat in the sonogram may seem like a ‘stunt’ to those liberals, I think Faith2Action was just trying to prove that Ohio lawmakers can feel compassion, as with Speaker Boehner on the national stage representing our state, most people wouldn’t think we could do that.”