Friday, March 29, 2013

Today's Matt Lauer Tweets Apology for Being Matt Lauer

New York – It’s been a tough month for The Today Show host Matt Lauer.  First there was public outrage over his interview with convicted pedophile Penn State’s Jerry Sandusky and now a former intern is accusing him of being nasty.

In regard to the Sandusky interview, one angry viewer even went so far to tweet at Lauer: “If you were going to get an interview with a pedo, you should have gone with the former Pope, you incompetent idiot! What the HELL is wrong with you?”

Unsolicited Drivel
got a current intern on The Today Show to give us the inside scoop on Lauer’s mood. He told us, “First of all, the former intern who is accusing Matt of being mean is now working at Fox News, so that’s proof right there that the intern is a mental defective!  And stop sending those emails accusing Matt of having Ann Curry in a hole in his basement forcing her to put lotion on her skin.  She’s still being held hostage by NBC but is safely ensconced in her Upper East Side apartment.  As far as Today considering hiring Anderson Cooper as Matt's replacement?  Not very likely.  That dude would never make it through our daily cooking segments because he’s creeped out by consuming anything but Vitamin Water. Matt has always been good to me.  He lets me sell his remaining hair left in his comb on eBay to help pay my rent.  I hope the Tweet he sent out the other day wins back the hearts and minds of Today viewers. If not, we may have him develop a fake case of prostate cancer.  His former co-host Katie Couric could help him promote it.”

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