New York – Author Joe McGinniss is an award winning political journalist with many years of experience, yet the Palin family is currently painting him as vindictive pervert over the upcoming release of his tell-all book about former half-term Alaska Governor Sarah.
Naturally, we have uncovered some of the juiciest tidbits from The Rogue and are more than happy to share them with you dear Unsolicited Drivel readers.
• Almost immediately after McGinniss moved into the house next door to the Palins to do his research on the book, both Sarah and Todd accused him of being a peeping Tom and a pedo-perv, as his balcony overlooked little Piper’s bedroom. McGinniss insists that when they saw him peering with his neck outstretched over the railing, he was just trying to see Russia from the house. It was nowhere in sight.
• In the course of conducting his interviews for the book, McGinnis couldn’t find a single former friend or acquaintance of the Palins that didn’t have anything negative to say about them. In fact, the only person he found in Wasilla who didn’t have anything negative to say about the Palins was a deaf mute guy who dumped salmon fish heads for a living at the local cannery.
• Sarah allegedly had a one-night stand shortly before her marriage with future NBA star Glen Rice. Rice did not officially confirm the tryst, but did say she was interested in him to learn more about the rules of the game, because as budding sportscaster she didn’t know anything except how to look hot in the locker room. She joked that this was because she didn’t learn much from attending five different colleges, as she was too busy transferring. Rice insisted she appeared to be quite fond of him and as she seemed “down with the brown” he had no explanation for her current obsession with slamming Obama.
• Sarah supposedly carried on a six-month affair with Todd’s business partner in his snowmobile dealership. When the partner refused to give up his interest in the business in exchange for keeping Sarah permanently, Todd closed the business altogether out of spite.
• Former pals say that both Todd and Sarah were no strangers to cocaine early in their relationship and could often be found at the “other end of the straw.” However, they say Sarah always insisted on snorting hers through a crazy straw. She later switched to a bendy straw to save face.
• As with most conservatives, the kids were no longer interesting to Sarah once they were no longer fetuses. As soon as they were out of the womb, they were pretty much left to fend for themselves with a BB gun, a Bowie knife and a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
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