Maryland Man Sets Continuous Boring Record

Dundalk - Gene Blatherton’s quest for the longest, continuous, snowbound chattering rant finally came to an end today just before it was time for “Snowmageddon Part II: The Quest to Bust the Hell Out of the House to Get More Vodka Before He Catches His Breath and We're Socked In Again.”  Blatherton began boring his captive audience of unwitting relatives on last Thursday evening, and finally stopped when he passed the 132 hour 15 minute mark recognized by the Guinness Book of Records. As he finally reached the moment of triumph, the 82 year old Blatherton raised both of his fists, Bloody Marys still in them up into the air, and cheered himself to the groans his of immediate family members without the upper body strength to dig their cars out of the snow to escape him, and also their half-comatose pets.  Blatherton admitted getting through the physical stamina element of his rant was a much more difficult challenge than the mental.  And another thing that helped him was he also had no qualms about continually repeating wearisome stories of his cherished childhood memories of having to fight rats for crumbs of bread or having to strip mine coal in his basement by himself for heat despite several of his relatives having already asphyxiated themselves by jumping into snowdrifts leading to sweet release via untimely death as early as last weekend.