Some...

- AIG plans to pay about $1 million in bonuses Wednesday while millions of Americans plan to spontaneously combust at the very thought of that.

- “Lost” final season premieres tonight but will still never explain why the fat guy never lost weight without access to Taco Bell.

- Unemployed person forgot to look for fake jobs on Craig’s List today.

- Tiger Woods reportedly to be released from sex rehab just in time to cheat on his wife for Valentine’s Day.