According to their poll, more people like Valentine’s Day than do not like it, but of the political affiliations that favored the holiday, the numbers came in at: 71% of Democrats, 61% of Independents, and only 59% of Republicans.
These results seemed slightly odd to us, as Republicans typically have more money to spend on candy and flowers so they can at least perpetuate the illusion of romance. We checked in with our staff sociologist for comment who told us:
“It’s not a surprise to me. Liberals are known for being good listeners, and as the brain is the biggest sex organ, it’s always going to be very romantic to know we have our partner’s undivided attention. It’s hard for a conservative whose brain is cluttered by which social services they believe should be cut under the guise of smaller government, and by wondering which industries they’d like to see deregulated so they can make more money, to hear even a single word their partner says. That leaves very little chance for romance. Plus, there’s the image of Cupid with the arrow for the conservatives to contend with, causing their minds very likely begin drift to which gun would be the most appropriate choice to shoot the bow clean out of his pudgy little hand.”
1 comments so far :
If you want to get a Republican's attention, whisper sweet tax cuts in their ear. If you want to get their hearts beating passionately, cut off someone's life saving benefits. If you want to get them to show love, place a mirror in front of their face.
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