Prince Harry Now to Be Blamed For Global Warming

British royal Prince Harry has had to extend his stay in the Arctic after warming temperatures caused a runway to crack at the airport and all flights were grounded.  The Prince, a member of the armed forces, will now spend an extra day or two with his team at the North Pole working for the charity Walking With The Wounded to benefit injured troops.

Scientists believe that global warming caused the damage to the airport, but climate change naysayers, primarily politicians beholden to industrial polluters, have a different take on the issue.

Speaking under the condition of anonymity, one official who is high up in the British government told us, “We have been trying to convince the public that global warming is NOT a man-made problem for years now and here’s a solution to claim that it’s a naturally occurring phenomenon, because  Prince Harry is the naturally confident, easy-going, prankster royal and that makes him totally hot in the general public’s eye.  Smoking hot.  Plus, he's got that flame coloured hair.  If we choose just the right tabloids, we will easily be able to dupe the commoners into believing the Prince is now the biggest contributing factor to global warming.  And that deception will factor in very nicely indeed when elections come around and we rely on our corporate contributors.  We even have a road crew with jackhammers, equipped with special sound filters, headed to the North Pole as we speak to ensure that the airport runaway is shut down until the week of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding.  If the prince drinks enough vodka to stay warm while he's there we may not even need the sound filters.  And as Sir Bob Geldolf is still smarting over how much he hates that 'Band-Aid' song he wrote, he might not be so quick to put pen to paper for a musical solution to world hunger again when even more crops begin to fail due to our shady backroom deals with the polluters of big industry.  It's brilliant really! Cheerio.”