House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) stayed up waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay past his bedtime last night (7:30) arguing against “Title X,” which details funding for the family planning organization by the federal government.
Boehner told Democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, “Republicans do not plan families. Families are a gift from God, should he think we are deserving of them. So, there's never a reason for abortion. Also, it’s not any of my party’s business whether or not a woman CHOOSES to get screened in time for reproductive cancers so she doesn’t die prematurely. So we should just bankrupt Planned Parenthood already, okay? Damn, I'm tired.”
Clearly, this Republican opposition to Planned Parenthood funding is another flagrant display of their preference for the company of unborn fetuses over humans living outside the womb. Perhaps this fondness is because unborn fetuses cannot read a newspaper to express an opinion and speak for themselves. However, we have some very tragic news. As we were writing this article, we just received a report over the newswire that a pregnant woman in Boehner’s district in Ohio was kicked to death by her unborn fetus this morning upon his hearing about this government impasse over Planned Parenthood. The non-profit organization was responsible for his prenatal care, so the family believes he committed this heinous crime so he wouldn’t have to be born into a country seeming to consist entirely of complete boneheads and that the mother probably shouldn’t have sat so close to her TV. Not with MSNBC on anyway.
EDITOR'S NOTE: CLICK HERE for an accurate chart of what Planned Parenthood really does.
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