Gingrich Has Whale of a Fail With Fake Twitter Followers

Washington, DC – In a surprise to almost no one paying attention, it was revealed yesterday that the majority of GOP presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich’s Twitter followers are fake.

Gingrich was complaining that the media was ignoring his impressive Twitter totals when he had nearly six times as many followers as Michele Bachmann’s crazy eyes and Mitt Romney’s hair.  However, he did admit there was still probably no way he could eclipse the popularity of the plethora of fake Jesuses on the social networking site.

Almost a nanosecond after Gingrich expressed his disgust at being ignored, a former staffer (as all his staffers are eventually “former”) revealed his duplic-Twitty.

The insider told Unsolicited Drivel, “That social networking group is faker than his wife Callista’s hair. If anyone knows about duping the American public, it would be Newt, and about 80% of those accounts are either inactive, or acquired by ‘follow’ agencies.  I know you’re probably thinking that the followers all came from Tiffany & Company’s mailing list, but they didn’t.  Most of them came from Newt’s cruise through the Greek Isles last May.  We had a sign-up sheet for a seminar about how to dodge a lifetime of taxes regardless of who is in the White House and those rich bastards signed up giving us their and their golf buddies’ personal information in droves.”