Two and a Half Men Plot Leaked – Charlie Dies!

Los Angeles – It looks like scorned producer Chuck Lorre will add some extra chuckles to his laugh track by killing off his foe Charlie Sheen’s character in the first episode of season nine of Two and a Half Men.

An inside source claimed, “We tossed around ideas of how Charlie’s character could end up tasting his own blood and we went with a fiery car crash.  He will be driven to near madness due to a case of drug resistant crabs he gets from sleeping around.  It will rob him of all his creativity and his sense of humor so that he can no longer compose crap-ass jingles for insane amounts of money.  It will be a suspected suicide."

As for how the Ashton Kutcher character will fit in, the source further speculated, “I think we're leaning toward Alan making plans to sell the house for a fresh start, but then discovering that Charlie has mortgaged it to the hilt to pay for whores and he will be under water if he sells it in the current market.  He decides to take the loss and sell it to Ashton’s character, who will be a former B-List movie star that after starring in a succession of Katherine Heigel films, gets demoted to the D-List and starring with Jennifer Love Hewitt on Lifetime and Oxygen channels. At the closing for the house, Alan will slam the car door on his hand out of frustration and doctors will tell him he’ll never be able to work as a chiropractor again.  Ashton feels sorry for Alan, now homeless, and offers to let him stay in the house with him.  Alan agrees provided that Ashton will continue on with Charlie’s legacy of teaching his son Jake to grow up too fast, be obnoxious and disrespect women.”