Polls Show Most Americans Would Not Have Tea with the Tea Party

According to a recent poll conducted among people that like to take polls, the American public’s general opinion on the Tea Party political movement can now be described as “less favorable than the thought of having to have a boil lanced off of their asses with a dirty X-Acto knife.”

The recent debt ceiling debate has given people a more concrete view of the Tea Party and its objectives and has also made many people want to encase them physically in concrete.  Specifically, 40% of Americans said they would rather have root canal than listen Grover Norquist explain how we can maintain infrastructure without taxes, which was a substantial rise from 18% last year.  Additionally, 46% said they would rather gnaw their own arms off than have to sit at a table at a Michele Bachmann for president fundraiser.  Democrats were most likely to hold the most negative views of the Tea Party, but it is believed that's only because they read the newspaper.  Independents also shared a negative view of the Tea Party, but were also most definitely in agreement that our two controlling political parties in America and all of their subsets should just go f**k themselves.