Republicans Hot and Bothered Over “Chimichanga-Gate”

Washington, DC – Republican lawmakers were hot under the collar this week, but not for the reasons you may be thinking.  Very surprisingly, they were not all that upset because they finally had to compromise with the Democrats over extending the payroll tax cut (so they wouldn’t have to bend over and kiss their asses goodbye in November)...but rather over something yummy all Americans like to eat: a chimichanga.  This outrage occurred because President Obama’s campaign manager Jim Messina retweeted a line from The Washington Post’s Dana Milbank where he wrote, “The chimichanga? It may be the only thing Republicans have left to offer Latinos."

Republicans who voted against the DREAM immigration reform act (all of them) were instantly outraged and claimed Messina’s tweet was “culturally insensitive.”  This supposed infraction even caused RNC political director Rick Wiley to tweet: "Very insensitive bro" as Wiley didn’t realize that “bro” was a term of endearment typically used by African Americans who will also never vote for his party (other than those four of them: Herman Cain, Rep. Allen West, Clarence Thomas, and Alan Keyes), and that Mexican Americans (who they blew it with when they had a chance) allegedly address each other as “amigo.”  Allegedly.

Unsolicited Drivel checked in with our political analyst over the hubbub.  He told us, “I don’t get what the problem is.  The chimichanga was actually invented in Tuscon, Arizona.  So to say that the Mexican American community would be insulted by wanting to eat them would insinuate they are unpatriotic.  Just because all the Republicans want to be offered by the Democrats via extensions of the Bush tax cuts are Kobe steaks, they take offense?  Crazy.  Either way, with their track record, we still know the Republicans will never be willing to offer ANY of the other 99% the whole enchilada.”