Hollyweird - While Sandra Bullock is still dragging her petite posterior on filing for divorce, and we are still trying to figure out why she married a complete scumbag instead of one of her costars*, reports are surfacing that her still current husband, Jesse James, spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on his various mistresses. The Monster Garage celeb-monster spent money on the usual extravagances, like chartering private jets and renting out strip clubs for private parties every other day, but it’s the little things that really count if you want to make a positive impression. Right? You would expect him to lavish his mistresses with expensive gifts, but Jesse thinks outside of the jewelry box with his gift giving apparently. Sandra had always had her suspicions of Jesse being a cheater, but pals (George Lopez) have reported she was shocked to find out what a thoughtful whore-monger he was when she found some receipts in their Hollywood Hills home for the following items:
- Cases of stripper pole non-toxic, organic, food-grade grease
- Walgreen’s gift card for unlimited supply of RID to cure crabs and Peroxyl mouthwash to avoid tongue stud infections
- Proofreading services for MySpace and Twitter rantings
- Disposable hygienic covers for chaise lounge in West Coast Choppers office
- Lady-parts “Beddazzler”
- Gift certificates to: wigsbyelvira.com
- Multi-color pack of Sharpie markers for tattoo touch-up before tabloid photo opportunities
- Berlin Mint – "Commanders of the Third Reich" commemorative pewter chess sets with semi-precious stone inlays
*C’mon…even if she had to get a translator to figure out what Keanu Reeves’ mumblings were, it still would be a step up!
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