Washington, DC - Sensing vulnerability the way a shark senses prey, the Democratic party this weekend came out swinging against Joe "Shakedown" Barton, the Texas congressman who last week angered the nation, the world, and people on the planet Mars with his apology to BP as the Obama administration secured a 20 billion dollar commitment from the company to pay for disaster relief. Rahm Emmanuel, the president's chief advisor, said the congressman's remarks were not only his own, but represented the "philosophy" of the Republican party and showed "the difference between Republicans and Democrats." Other Democrats were quoted as saying the Republican party is out of touch with Average Americans, and "On the Side of the Oil Industry." Even Republicans seemed to sense the battle a losing one, with Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Asshole/KY) quoted as saying "Joe Barton Who?" while House Minority Leader John "Magnatan" Boehner (R-Dick/OH) actually turning around and running in the opposite direction any time cameras approached.
The only person who seemed glad of the Congressman's comment was hapless BP Head Tony Hayward, who was quoted as saying, "I am more hated than Hitler riding Genghis Kahn and I'm still a couple of percentage points more popular than Joe. Thanks, mate!"
1 comments so far :
Gee, I don't look so bad compared to this guy!
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