Thursday, July 22, 2010

Blimey! Amy Winehouse Preggers?!?

Cyberspace – Yet another totally inaccurate American gossip web site (like Hollywood Life/Perez Hilton/Insert Your Hack Site’s Name Here) Starpulse is speculating that occasional British singer/performance artist Amy Winehouse might be pregnant!!!  The site goes on to prevent their being discredited in a nanosecond by adding “or has a serious pot belly.”

Starpulse, located in upstate New York and NOT jolly ‘ole England, also took the trouble to point out that Winehouse had visited a sex shop on the night the photos were snapped and feared for the safety of her unborn baby which probably would be born with three heads regardless by stating, “We hope she’s not partying too hard!”

We asked one of Amy’s entourage who told us, “No, she’s not expecting.  That's just regular abdominal distention.  We’re pretty sure she hasn’t even seen her period due to malnutrition since the release of her first breakout album, ‘Frank,’ as shortly after it came out she was able to somehow convince herself that heroin, crack and Jack were able to fit into all of the recommended food groups.”

1 comments so far :

Paresh Mohomod Habilton said...

I think they are mistaking alcohol/crack/cigarette hangover bloat for a bun in the oven. That ain't no fit oven for no actual bun anyways.

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