Ronald Reagan Best Reagan-Named President

In a recent survey, Americans selected nonnoted actor and former president Ronald Reagan as the best president with the last name "Reagan" in history, narrowly beating out Tommy "Two Hats" Reagan, who was president from 1878-1891. Ok, seriously, 19% of American voted for the "Duffer" as he was famously known during his lifetime. Abraham "If You Only Know the Name of One Assassinated Person It's Me" Lincoln was second with 14% of the vote, and Bill "Swinging Dick" Clinton was third with 12%. George W. Bush was 46th, despite there only being 44 presidents total, while George Bush senior, who was president from 1988 to Read My Lips, placed 8th because people had a vague recognition of his name. Some Americans, not realizing that write-in candidates are not appropriate for a "best of" list, voted for Mr. Peanut, Justin Bieber, and Lady Gaga, while one respondent indicated that since Goofy was clearly a dog, he should not be allowed to own one. Shortly after the survey was completed, all of America was locked up in a loony bin.