Aretha Franklin Continues Her “I Ain’t Telling You People Shit” Media Tour

Aretha Franklin, newly trimmed down Queen of Soul, confirmed this week that she’s not telling the media jack shit about her mysterious illness last year, or her significant weight loss.

She told a near anorexic entertainment show talking head with hair extensions, “It’s not appropriate to discuss one’s medical condition in the media.  I wish those freaks on the cable TV infotainment shows like Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace would figure that out too.   I’m telling you they've got NO class.  And I KNOW the rumors are out there about me having a gastric bypass, but I didn’t go all Star Jones you girlfriend.  That would be one bad example!  The Queen could never do that to her fans.  But Star probably ain’t got no fans to disappoint.  Or if she does, she’s probably gonna lose them after NeNe gets finished with her bony ass on ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’  You can’t control what people say about you, but you can control what you put in your mouth.  It also helps me maintain control by keeping a red carpet picture of Jennifer Hudson in Versace hanging on the fridge.”