President Obama Announces Bid for 4 More Years of Bigotry

Washington, DC – President Barack Obama has formally announced his 2012 re-election campaign today, ensuring America a prospect for four more years of bigotry and ignorance remaining front and center on the national stage.

Under the premise of “protecting progress we have made,” Obama made his case to mobilize for a farther-reaching plan for sustained economic growth and recovery.  However, this unsurprising announcement will likely only succeed in pissing off the Americans who have never paid attention long enough to notice Obama’s progress at all.  This oversight is very likely due to the fact that they were too busy staring at Obama trying to figure if they could finger him as someone they’d seen on the most recent episode of “America’s Most Wanted.”

Manufacturers of Tea Party merchandise, everything from new ‘n improved flags to Hoverounds™, rejoiced as they will remain economically sound until election day 2012 at the very least. People who were really good at Photoshopping Obama with Hitler’s moustache on anything and everything breathed a sigh of relief too.  The clerk at the court in Honolulu where birth records are stored quickly called in a refill for their Xanax prescription.

Obama insisted he was merely laying the foundation for the campaign today, and he would not be traveling around just yet to make speeches like GOP hopeful Michele Bachmann is already doing on her trips to exotic places like New Jersey.

At press time, it was not known if there would be a forthcoming pledge for four more years of swears words from Vice President Joe Biden, but Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has already confirmed she's going to go live on a farm somewhere upstate.