Madonna’s Movie at Venice Sinks Like a Gondola Shot With a Machine Gun

Venice – Critics at the Venice Film festival have savagely ripped pop superstar Madonna’s new film, leaving people outside of the show business world who had no idea Madonna actually thought she was a filmmaker stunned.

The movie, W.E., which has received many one star ratings, covers the scandalous affair between Britain’s King Edward VIII and the divorcee Wallis Simpson, for whom he abdicated the throne so that Colin Firth could finally win an Oscar.

Some of the harsher barbs from critics included, “whole scenes could easily have been like a pop music video had she put Wallace Simpson in a bullet bra…” and also, “the worst thing Venice has seen since Woody Allen doggedly pursuing Julia Roberts all over town in Everyone Says I Love You.”

Madonna stated at a press conference that she directed the film because her ex-husbands, talented filmmakers Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie, encouraged her to expand artistically, and because she could relate to Wallis Simpson as the public and the press had vilified them both.

When asked about Madonna’s remarks, one Venice Festival attendee remarked, “If she meant that once she hooked up with her leading men that their work began to suffer terribly, well then she does have a lot in common with Mrs. Simpson.”