Director Lars von Trier Sorry He Hurt the Sane People of the World’s Feelings

Cannes, France – Time for another out of touch, entitled "artiste" to ruin their career again.   Director Lars von Trier has apologized (sort of) to the sane people of the world who might be offended by the idea of  genocide after his remarks about “understanding Hitler” and Israel being “a pain in the ass” at the Cannes Film Festival.  Kirsten Dunst, star of his new film Melancholia,  sat patiently by the director’s side during the press conference where he went off on his unhinged rant and carefully restrained herself from putting her fist down his throat to end the madness.

The organizers of the world’s most prestigious film festival quickly booted the controversial director from the proceedings declaring him “persona non grata.”

One member of the press who was there for the shocking statements told us, “Lars may have an intense fear of flying but that doesn’t include flying off the handle as it turns out. I guess it’s not enough to make creepy movies – he also has to be creepy in person. If people want to be reminded of genocide throughout history due to some other people being megalomaniacal freaks, they want to be reminded in a 3-hour film where everything looks gray and it’s scored with sad violin music - not in real life and NOT by some pretentious director at a press conference who seems to be arguing with voices in his head. It’s Oscar gold on film, but off the silver screen it's a flaming bag of dog shit. I feel sorry for Kirsten Dunst too, as that performance she just gave sitting next to him during his ‘I heart Hitler’ rant won’t be eligible to compete for a festival prize.   Hopefully Lars is already on the next train out of town. And if disgraced designer John Galliano  has sent him a fruit basket as a ‘Thank you,’ I’m told Mel Gibson is still at Cannes and would be happy to accept it on Lars’ behalf.”