Speaking as an image on a quesadilla at a Cinco de Mayo party yesterday, Jesus Christ said, “I’ve seen the video. I knew Mary Magdalene, and Gaga, girlfriend, you are no Mary Magdalene! She could have gotten a cuter, slightly darker skinned guy to play me too. I wouldn’t have minded that ‘Old Spice’ guy. Anyway, the video’s just a publicity stunt. Let’s be real my followers - if I had a problem with this sort of display and thought it blasphemous, don’t you think I would have struck down Madonna with a lightening bolt 25 years ago? And I wouldn’t care Lady Gaga and Madonna both dry humped a cross while French kissing each other, because I am in the business of forgiveness. It’s what I do. Except for Popes. Regardless, my forgiving nature doesn’t mean I don’t get a tad bit cranky when artists don’t use their God given talents to the fullest and seem to recycle their work over and over again just to make a quick buck. But as her fans, that’s your problem, not mine. It’s not really my type of music anyway as I’ve kind of gotten used to most songs only being played on the harp.”
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