Frack You

Worried about Fracking? The process of extracting oil from shale rock by essentially setting off large underground bombs has some people concerned over environmental issues such as contamination of groundwater and earthquakes, which may be linked to the controversial process. Well, have no fear, "Talisman Terry" is here! That's the name of the new cartoon dinosaur, billed by Terry's namesake, Canadian Fracking Company Talisman, "your friendly frackosaur." Terry explains, in a child's coloring book how fracking doesn't really harm the environment at all, really taking the idea of "I read it in a book so it must be true" to a new extreme ("I colored it, so it must be true?!?!?"). In before-fracking-and-after pages with smiling rocks and animals, we see how fracking just-nestles-in-sweetly amongst the flora and fauna, so small that you'd hardly notice it.


Unsolicited Drivel dug deep to discover that this is not Talisman Terry's first gig. We found several instances where he's appeared on behalf of other GEIs ("Giant Evil Industries"), all of which he was mysteriously fired from for some reason. He's used different names in each industry, which is probably why nobody spotted him before. His message in each case strikes a similar note...

Remember, kids - just because he's a dinosaur, it doesn't guarantee he's cool.  Hey, remember Barney?  Total Dorkasaurus!!