Oprah Will NOT Be Interviewing OJ

Chicago – Despite her OWN network getting off to a very rocky start, reps for Oprah Winfrey are denying that she was seeking to interview O.J. Simpson in an effort to get him to finally confess to being a double murderer as a ratings booster.

Oprah had mentioned at a cable TV convention that she wanted to do that kind of interview "were Mr. Simpson to be ready,” but her people at Harpo are telling The Hollywood Reporter, “that’s not true.”

We wondered about this news for ourselves and reached out to Ms. Winfrey’s people. As per usual, we could only get a low-level staffer to speak to us, but they still told us, “Oh, come on! If Oprah wanted to get O.J. to confess, she could have done it years ago simply by screaming into his ear in that freaky authoritarian way she does.  The only interview she still has on her wish list is with Jesus Christ to try and prove for America they they are not one and the same. We thought that now she has more free time on her hands that might finally happen. Unfortunately Christ has less time than ever on his hands as lately he’s constantly meeting with his P.R. team trying to figure out what the hell to do about the Westboro Baptist Church without striking them down publicly via a very ugly and painful plague.”