Spiderman Could Use Career Counseling

If you weren't already sure that newspapers were still in a free-fall decline, here is proof - photo journalist Peter Parker (aka Spiderman) begging for money in Mallory Square.  True story.  I saw him just the other night offer this woman an opportunity to feel the tingling brought on by his "Spidey Sense" for just a couple of bucks.  That crime fighting he does is all volunteer work you know, and even if he was a cop, the lawmakers these days would totally try and f#!k with his benefits and pension.  He's a talented photog.  If I were his life coach, I'd suggest he make the leap to become a paparazzi.  It wouldn't even hurt when some entitled celebrity hits him with their car because of his super-human powers.  And if Kim Kardashian's really pregnant, I'm sure America will want to have an up to the minute digital chronology of her ever-expanding ass.  Spidey could probably even retire early that way too!