Speaker Boehner Didn’t Get the Memo About Having to Work Closely With the President

Washington, DC – Speaker of the House John Boehner was overheard by a CBS News reporter last night grumbling, "I didn't sign up for going mano-a-mano with the President of the United States.”  This complaint was in regard to the “dangerous game” he’s playing according to Obama over the debt ceiling negotiations and leaves the American public wondering, “then what the F did you sign up for Mr. Boehner?”

Unsolicited Drivel asked an aide close to the Speaker to tell us in confidence just what Rep. Boehner did sign up for.  They told us, “I can't say I know for sure.  I am a little surprised that he didn’t realize that the Speaker of the House would have to work one-on-one with the President regularly.  I even had to do a MapQuest for him to find the Oval Office.   I guess when a person’s mind is consumed with perpetuating the illusion that one will create jobs* just to get elected, hosting fundraisers, playing golf, pressing the flesh with lobbyists to line one’s own pocket, figuring out the quickest way to drive every American who’s not one of your cronies into poverty, protecting the right to life of fetuses until they are born and then become voters and frying one’s brain in a tanning booth, a Speaker doesn’t have time to read their job description.  Again, I’m just guessing, mind you.  I could be wrong.  But in that case it would have to be because Boehner’s delusional, and I don’t think he’d be able to get corporate America to hand him as much money as he gets regularly on a silver platter if he was bat-shit crazy."

*200 Days in: 1.9 million jobs killed and zero jobs created.