Earth Can Continue Spinning On its Axis: Princess Kate is Preggers!

Yay!  Windsor DNA!!

Jolly Old England – The Earth briefly stopped spinning at the news but quickly began to go about its business again after it was announced that Prince William and his wife Kate Middleton and are expecting their first child!

The Duchess was briefly admitted King Edward VII Hospital today in central London due to a bad-ass case of morning sickness that caused dehydration, which was a result of Kate trying to get her entire daily liquid supply from the one water biscuit she subsists on.

A butler at Buckingham Palace who will write a future tell-all book revealing Kate’s secrets told Unsolicited Drivel, “This will be the Queen’s third great grandchild and he or she will be an extra, extra special great grandchild because the baby will have Diana DNA!!  That means it will be guaranteed to keep the Royal family relevant and keep hoards of paparazzi employed for years to come.  Of course, the family will be happy with a boy or a girl for Wills and Kate, but personally, I hope it’s a boy. Goodness me!  At times I feel like I’ll go blind from looking at the royal ladies wearing all of those ugly arse Philip Treacy hats!”

What in bloody hell???

(Diana via Pinterest)