Why Are Republicans So Scared Of Rush Limbaugh?

Spineless Sarah Palin, or SSP, as we will now refer to her, has back-peddled on her rebuke of Rush Limbaugh using the “r” word, or “retard,” leaving us to wonder, why are Republicans afraid of this blathering bag of fart gas? (Didn't want any issues with Frankin's intellectual property.) Shouldn’t they concentrate more on being scared of having Michael Steele as their spokesperson? After all, first things first.  Yet still, why will they not call Rush on his spiteful, hate-mongering behavior? Republicans should not fear that Rush could replace one of their candidates on the ticket.  The campaign trail alone would kill him - easily.   This is a man who nearly “suffered the big one,” while on VACATION...in Hawaii. What does he contribute to society?  How does he differ from a skinhead?  Taking a bit of a serious note here, but we kind of thought the whole point of being upstanding human beings was not letting evil influence our decisions.  This is a man who considers Harvard students to be idiots and the same man who waddled his way to the top by blurring the lines between opinion and facts.  If you agree that he needs to be put down, we beseech you, please mail him any leftover pain medication you may have lying around your medicine cabinet before your teenagers swipe it. Or can we at least all petition to send him to live with Michael Vick?  Focus, focus! Back to the task at hand.  Rush cannot feed his addictive personality on bile alone and no doubt, he would be hopeless to resist, so please mail your opiates*, provided they are not expired to:

Drug Addicted Fat Bastard
c/o The Rush Limbaugh Show 

1270 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020

*Especially if you are a feminazi breast cancer survivor. Oxycontin and Vicodin preferred.  Hey, at the very least the staffers who have to test his drugs might catch a buzz.  Probably the only decent compensation they'll get.

And now, as we do want to provide a bit o’ humor for this post…we present some of the best of Michael Steele…

"Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. Rush Limbaugh — his whole thing is entertainment. He has this incendiary — yes, it's ugly."

"Not in the history of mankind has the government ever created a job."

"I'm in the business of ticking people off. That's why I'm chairman."

"If you don't want me in the job, fire me. But until then, shut up. Get with the program or get out of the way."

"Crazy nonsense empathetic. I'll give you empathy. Empathize right on your behind. Craziness."

"Our platform is one of the best political documents that's been written in the last 25 years. Honest Injun on that."

"Could you help a brother out? No more national conventions with 36 people of color in the room."

"I'm the gift that keeps on giving."