Funnyman Jim Carrey Issues Heartfelt Apology for Acting Sane

Crazy, stupid, sane...

Los Angeles – Comic actor Jim Carrey issued a very sincere apology to possible fans for acting as if he was using logic yesterday. Carrey, an outspoken gun control advocate, had himself and epic Twitter battle with actual insane people last night. There’s no word as of this writing if Carrey was drunk or just suffering from the typical Sunday night blues, which plague any employed person.

A spokesperson for the rubber-faced actor told Unsolicited Drivel, “Jim is not a bully like Alec Baldwin and he realizes that name-calling is unacceptable under any circumstances. In fact, had he had his meds right, he could have done a lot more damage to the Twitterverse. But he’s promoting his new movie ‘Kick-Ass 2,’ which I’m sure will have no senseless violence whatsoever. He’s just very sensitive after growing up in a neighborhood with gun nuts. His best friend as a teenager once he immigrated, let’s call him Adolph, was actually kicked out of the NRA for being against shooting squirrels with assault rifles after smearing peanut butter on trees. Adolph was an economics major. Why waste all that ammo when an air rifle will do?”

Alec Baldwin Quits Twitter in a Rage - AGAIN! (NSFW)

Actor and predatory lender shill Alec Baldwin deleted his Twitter account yet again after a reporter alleged his wife was tweeting during the funeral for beloved actor James Galdolfini. The reporter was likely mistaken, but Baldwin did his usual ballistic freak out. Speaking of mistakes, our local CBS affiliate reported that James Gadolfiini died at age 81, adding 30 years to his life. Yay! Now Tony Soprano lived a rich and full life.  Anyway, we have a the newest issue of Alec's magazine and his rant!!