Funnyman Jim Carrey Issues Heartfelt Apology for Acting Sane

Crazy, stupid, sane...

Los Angeles – Comic actor Jim Carrey issued a very sincere apology to possible fans for acting as if he was using logic yesterday. Carrey, an outspoken gun control advocate, had himself and epic Twitter battle with actual insane people last night. There’s no word as of this writing if Carrey was drunk or just suffering from the typical Sunday night blues, which plague any employed person.

A spokesperson for the rubber-faced actor told Unsolicited Drivel, “Jim is not a bully like Alec Baldwin and he realizes that name-calling is unacceptable under any circumstances. In fact, had he had his meds right, he could have done a lot more damage to the Twitterverse. But he’s promoting his new movie ‘Kick-Ass 2,’ which I’m sure will have no senseless violence whatsoever. He’s just very sensitive after growing up in a neighborhood with gun nuts. His best friend as a teenager once he immigrated, let’s call him Adolph, was actually kicked out of the NRA for being against shooting squirrels with assault rifles after smearing peanut butter on trees. Adolph was an economics major. Why waste all that ammo when an air rifle will do?”

Alec Baldwin Quits Twitter in a Rage - AGAIN! (NSFW)

Actor and predatory lender shill Alec Baldwin deleted his Twitter account yet again after a reporter alleged his wife was tweeting during the funeral for beloved actor James Galdolfini. The reporter was likely mistaken, but Baldwin did his usual ballistic freak out. Speaking of mistakes, our local CBS affiliate reported that James Gadolfiini died at age 81, adding 30 years to his life. Yay! Now Tony Soprano lived a rich and full life.  Anyway, we have a the newest issue of Alec's magazine and his rant!!

Anne Hathaway's Nipples Have Their Own "Titter" Feed!

Via Tumblr

Today's Super-Duper Fun Hashtag is: #LowInformationVoterThoughts

Huge surprise, I was bad too.

https://twitter.com/search?q=%23LowInformationVoterThoughts&src=hash

More Fun w/Screen Shots: Pope-y Version

The Vatican owns TWENTY PERCENT of the wealth in Italy!!

The Pope is FINALLY Tweeting. PTL!

Modern Seinfeld (SeinfeldToday) on Twitter

Modern Seinfeld (SeinfeldToday) on Twitter
These posts are GREAT!!!!!!

Gotta Love Twitter!

He was probably wearing an "I (heart) Netanyahu" T-shirt as he rage typed this. Here is what I tweeted that set him off:   "The only upside to climate change is #RickSantorum can't run for president on his down-homey-sweater-vest-wearing-extremist-dude platform."

Social Media Food Porn Has Got to Go

Was Is Demi Moore Demanding Ashton Kutcher’s Twitter Followers in the Divorce?

Unsolicited Drivel: Is Demi Moore Demanding Ashton Kutcher’s Twitter Followers in the Divorce?

And one more re-post for good measure. I hate it when it's such a slow news week (Pedos and pervs! Pedos and pervs! Well really, more like pedos and Herms.), but also when I've already predicted what's going to happen! May the day get more interesting soon.

Netflix Moved Too Quickly With “Qwikster”

The real "Qwickster"

Ever since Netflix announced it was raising its fees by sixty-percent for DVDs by mail and movies by streaming, folks have been lining up in droves at competitor RedBox as nobody’s got the time to do 10-15 for mailing suspicious white power back to Netflix with their DVDs when they should be out looking for a job.  And now Netflix is facing another calamity due its poorly thought out strategy by adopting the new name Qwikster for its mail service without checking its availability on Twitter.  If they checked today, Netflix customers who want to follow it on Twitter to see when the next Katherine Heigel mistake comes out would be more likely to find out when the director’s cut is issued for Dazed and Confused, because an apparent stoner already owns the similarly spelled Qwickster handle.

“Qwickster” hasn’t tweeted since late June and now Netflix CEO, Reed Hastings, is likely in a panic after hastily sending out the announcement about the new name via his blog last night.  A spokesperson for the movie rental giant told us, “We’ve been trying to reach this Qwickster all day but haven’t had any success.  We fear that perhaps he’s in a diabetic coma from too many sugary munchies.  If that’s not the case, and if anyone knows how to reach him, maybe on a World of Warcraft discussion board or someplace, please let him know that we are prepared to offer an unlimited supply of Mallomars, Doritos and Pizza flavored Hot Pockets, a Fast Times at Ridgemont High DVD punched by Sean Penn and a Cheech and Chong movie collection boxed set in exchange for the Twitter name.”