Man Likens Workplace to Ancient Rome

Bethesda, MD  -  During an unbelievably dull presentation at work today, a computer programmer was fantasizing about the costumes that Lucy Lawless will wear in the new Starz “Spartacus” series that he can't wait to watch in his mom's basement tonight.  While he was trying to imagine Lucy with flowing red hair for the new show, instead of her trademark Xena straight black locks, he also began to notice way too many similarities between the politics in his office and those of the ancient Roman Empire. "After I got back to my cubicle and was waiting to be stabbed in the back by one of the latest consultants they keep dragging in, I tried to give everyone around here nicknames to break up the monotony along with the excruciating feeling of inertia that this s#&! hole gives me. So far I have, Assius Kissius, Lazius Maximus, I. Clodius, and at the top of the management rung, Oldius Geezer,” stated Mark Antonio. Still no word if he plans to rename the Denny's he frequents for lunch "The Vomitorium.”