Lindsay Lohan: Play for Pay?

VIENNA — Does anyone remember when Lindsay Lohan was a little freckled fresh-faced girl in the remake of “The Parent Trap?”  Nah, we don’t either. We even think that we have grown to prefer “Lindsay 2.0: One Ecstasy Tab Away a From the Slab.” We can’t speak for the general public, but our love affair with Linds went sour when we decided that she wasn’t nearly mean enough in “Mean Girls.”  Neither were her costars in the film.  Hell, we’ve got chunks of chicks like that floating in our “Activia.”  Oh, but now we remember!  Tina Fey wrote the screenplay.  No wonder.  Well, it’s been reported that in Ms. Lohan’s latest attempt to loot the limelight, she’s agreed to be a paid escort for eccentric Austrian moneybag, Richard Luger.  Luger, a 77 year-old entrepreneur, hires a babe he would have no chance of banging without his bank account each year to take to the famous Vienna Opera Ball.  He takes these beauteous babes to the flashy event for the photo opportunities. As the last project the actress worked on, “Labor Pains,” went direct to cable, we can understand why she might look for other opportunities.  Dating a crypt-bound codger for huge exposure to the paparazzi is probably more palatable to her most loyal fans than her previous gig as “Gay for Pay.”  However, unless things change for her and soon, as a performer at heart, we believe that it’s only a matter to time she looks at different branches of the entertainment industry.  And with that in mind we bring you:

We know some readers already agree!