Rip Torn Pleads Not Guilty to Robbing While Ripped

Litchfield, CT – Amazing actor, Rip Torn, pleaded not guilty today to charges of burglary and firearms possession.  The actor had been charged after charging into a neighborhood bank on January 29th while drunk and waving around a loaded gun.  His defense contends that he believed he was entering his own home, but offered no explanation of why he chose to do so locked and loaded.  Perhaps he planned to shoot the legs off of a Chippendale sofa for it being so damned uncomfortable? We’ll probably never know for sure.  Regardless, the actor insists it’s still pretty a common occurrence for him to have to break a window to obtain entry to his humble abode.  His reps insist he has made progress in rehab for alcohol, but that he still maintains his fondness for guns and hopes to someday wave one around at a political rally with Sarah Palin.  The 79-year old actor is most recently known to audiences as the only other truly gifted perfomer on “30 Rock” besides Alec Baldwin, but he’ll always be “Artie” from “The Larry Sanders Show” to us.  For those of you youngin’s who are not familiar, Artie was the kind of late night talk show producer who probably ate nails on his corn flakes for breakfast.  He ruled. They could have really used him on Conan.