Lindsay Lohan May Just Be a Piece of Trash

Hollyweird – Formerly promising starlet Lindsay Lohan allegedly clipped a baby stroller last night with her Maserati.  If this proves to be true (video evidence is sketchy), this leads us to make only one conclusion:  Lindsay Lohan can no longer blame her actions on addiction as Lindsay Lohan is simply a piece of white trash.  No, make that orange-hued trash.  Entitled, orange-hued trash.

RadarOnline.com is reporting that they have two eyewitnesses who saw Lohan come barreling out of a parking garage last night, failing to come to a complete stop, and then clipping the baby stroller.  The young child strapped in it was unhurt, but he definitely was startled and also particularly traumatized to see just how much Lohan had transformed into a prematurely aging hag since the toddler’s last viewing of his Herbie Reloaded DVD.

Lohan is said to have stopped for a couple of seconds and then sped off.  If and when authorities finally catch up to her, we have no doubt she will claim she was on her way to an audition.

This latest Lohan caper leaves us with just one question: where’s Jerry Lewis when you REALLY need him?!?

Thanks, Jerry!  We're going to go interview a "bag of snails" now!