Obama to Back Democrats in Coming Elections

U.S. President Barack Obama has made a decision. In the coming midterm elections, he will back the Democratic Party. In support of the 70-some Representatives and 10-some Senatorial seats up for grabs, and in the teeth of anticipated Republican gains (because they've done so much for the country lately), Obama has announced the "Sounds-Good-For-Jobs-No-Can-Pass" Act, a $50 billion bill to provide a second stimulus to the economy ad create thousands of jobs if it could pass, which it can't.

"I'm a big supporter of the American People, and they know this bill would be good for them if it would pass," the one-termer was heard to say, referring to the inevitable Republican filibuster, which will stop the bill in the Senate, and the inevitable Democratic Rollover-play-dead, which will ensure the bill will never proceed forward after the filibuster, that the Republicans would never be called out for their evil opposition, and that Democrats would be correctly perceived as utterly weak cowards.

"It's important to include our Republican brethren" the president noted, also noting that the bill is unlikely to include any Republican brethren, sistren, or second-cousins-ren anytime soon. "If Olympia Snowe wants to vote against this bill and keep millions of Americans out of work, I can't think of a way past it," the most powerful man on Earth concluded, adding "By the way, vote Democrat - we tried!"

posted by GMan